Baby on Board

Posted by Fly Boy
There are people in the world that can irritate you to the point where you just want to punch that individual through the sternum and remove their still beating heart. For some, it’s the Guido "juicehead" with the Japanime hair cut. For others, it’s the celebrity who adopts foreign babies and preaches about the hardships of third world countries. For me, it’s the people who find it necessary to have a “Baby on Board” sign suctioned to their car window.

Do these parents think that this sign prevents anyone from accidentally rear-ending them? Do they believe that the sign creates an impenetrable force field that protects them from on-coming traffic? Or maybe they believe that there are drivers out there that purposely look for other vehicles to hit because they are bored; “Hmmm, let’s see. Who should I share my insurance information with today? How about that Dodge Caravan…oh no wait, I can’t…there is a baby on board. I guess I’ll hit this Nissan with the vanity plate and John Kerry sticker.

This bright yellow sign not only irritates me and every woman with a faulty uterus, it also entices every pedophile driver in the area. So if you are one of these over-cautious parents and you happen to notice a bald guy with horned-rim glasses following you in a station wagon with wood paneling, do NOT freak out…you did this to yourself.

It is safe to say that this so called “warning sign” does more harm than good and should be immediately recalled. Any parent who purchases this product should not be allowed to raise children. Their ignorance will infect our youth, which in turn, will affect our future.