Thursday, December 16, 2010

Doctor Dreadful Food Lab

Posted By Booze Fighter

"Ooooh Billy, do you want a freshly baked cup cake?

Is Schwarzenegger hard to spell? Bitch give me that cup cake. Yum. So where did you get these, from your lame momma?

"No I made them with my Easy Bake Oven...oven..oven...oven...oven..."

I remember that stun; that abysmal fuzziness after you take a digger on your huffy. This shock was due to the fact that little girls everywhere could get instant, homemade taste-bud gratification with their Easy Bake Ovens and all I had was a bowl of Kix and freeze dried milk.

Panic set in for all boys. They were alone in the world of munchies, their sisters would get an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas, so they could hoax them into making them a personal Confetti Cake.

Delirious from hunger pains, one of your slow-minded chums approaches you with a plate of Creepy Crawlers. SMACK...Dumpy, you buffoon, Creepy Crawlers are only for people with Pica. Gah...imbecile. Are boys forever damned in this cruel cruel world? Is there no one that will help us?

A strange and diabolical laughter comes from the bowels of Geoffrey the Giraffe. Like the Pied Piper, the hungry youth flocked to Toys R' Us, where explosions and chaos were errupting from aisle 8.

"Muhahahahahaha...TASTE, need more TASTE!!!" This Dr. Wily look-a-like mother fucker is going nuts; adding potions that smell just as good as a pepperoni pizza to something that already looks just as good. Who is this wild scientist? Why does he create so much taste?

The answer: Dr. Dreadful, and no his name does not speak for his creations. If that were the case he would be the original Dr. Feelgood. This Spin Doctor 360's the world that Easy Bake Oven had created. With a Doctor Dreadful Food Lab one can create anything from Gummy Guts to your very own Zombie Blood Soda Pop. Unfortunatly Dr. Dreadful was nabbed by the men in white coats and was never to be seen again.

I found out that Dr. Dreadful is being let out of Bell View to be re-released into the world, hell-bound on creating TASTE. If this is news to you, or you just don't care, you should go choke on some Creepy Crawlers or forever be subdued by your sister and her Easy Bake Oven.

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