tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48051386990456975152024-03-13T08:39:18.576-07:00Old Forge ReviewsOld Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-59234608308036728032012-06-29T20:31:00.000-07:002012-06-29T20:44:35.821-07:00Thin Ice<div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Posted by Booze Fighter</i></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RehgUVFJDwU/T-5yUHgOwKI/AAAAAAAAAFg/pYEUafRpIXA/s1600/Thin+Ice.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RehgUVFJDwU/T-5yUHgOwKI/AAAAAAAAAFg/pYEUafRpIXA/s320/Thin+Ice.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here's a winner for the shittest game award. Gee Guys, lets corner
the market for board games by creating... I got it! Falling through <a href="http://www.faronics.com/assets/vanilla_ice.jpg">thin ice</a>
is hilarious and fun. Lets make a game about freezing to death.</div>
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Marbles kind of look like people... and hell, fuck trees... those are
disposable so paper could be the ice. Thats it, perfection at its
finest.</div>
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Four months later... </div>
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What the fuck who keeps on using up all the toilet
paper?! I work all damn day choppin' <a href="http://www.imm-cms.com/media/ck_uploads/kmiller/2011/04/06/Tree%20Army%20Project%20128.jpg">killer evergreens</a> down to supply the
world with paper ice for the best game ever.</div>
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Maybe the Angry Pooping Man should have realized a few things:</div>
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1. The game sucks</div>
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2. Wipe your ass with the game and the game's inventors</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-32994093406308255562011-04-04T04:25:00.000-07:002012-06-29T20:46:35.829-07:00Silly Rabbit...Fruity Pebbles Are Better!<div>
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<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Posted by Fly Boy</span></i><br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591691082731240578" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LMbrs3hVKsg/TZmtaefqPII/AAAAAAAAAFQ/74_wtwspZqA/s400/Trix%2B2.jpg" style="display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 290px;" /><br />
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The Silly Rabbit comes home from a long day of chasing Trix to no prevail. He notices a message on his answering machine and presses play:</div>
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“Hey, depressing little jack rabbit, it’s your buddy, Barney Rubble. I'm sure you're home right now holding an empty cereal bowl and wacking off to <a href="http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/twisted-human-bunnies-people-in-bad-arse-rabbit-costumes.jpeg">bunny porn</a>, because you’re fucking pathetic. HAHA…just fucking with you dude, but seriously I stole another box of Fred’s delicious fruity rocks and I wanted to throw a party tonight. Don’t call me back to say you’re busy, because I know you’re not. Party starts at nine. Be there.”</div>
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Rabbit arrives at the Rubble’s residence around 10 pm. He opens the door and is instantly exposed to an array of rainbow-colored strobe lights and an <a href="http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/326/b/9/eargasm_by_lugh_oo-d33e899.jpg">eargasm</a> of heavy metal music. He looks to his left; Barney is in the corner with his eyes closed, wailing on an air guitar. In the center of the room, Betty dances erotically on the coffee table while Tony the Tiger watches with glazed eyes from the comfort of the couch. The Rabbit looks to his right to see Toucan Sam blowing lines of crushed Fruity Pebbles from a marble cutting board. Toucan greets the rabbit, "Come in man...follow your fuckin’ nose to these delicious Fruity Pebbles." The Rabbit timidly walks to the bar in which Toucan is perched. Sam hands him a spoonful of fruity goodness. The Rabbit takes a bite. The sugary sensation instantly attacks his blood stream; Rabbit has never felt such a rush. He turns back to the center of the room. Betty and Tony are now making out on the coffee table. Barney, oblivious to his surroundings, is now on his knees <a href="http://www.toymoz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/zingzillas-play-n-groove.jpg">violently</a> wailing on his air guitar. Heavy guitar riffs echo through the room. Rabbit turns back to Toucan, feeling the full effects of the Fruity Pebbles, he watches the strobe lights bounce off of the already colorful beak. For the first time in Rabbit's life he feels complete. He smiles. The bird smiles back and nods in mutual agreement. Toucan Sam speaks over the deafening music, "Fruity Pebbles mannn...Fruity...Fuckin’...Pebbles."</div>
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The rabbit wakes the next morning in his bathtub; chest deep in soggy fruity pebbles and pink milk. A dead goat lay by the toilet. Shattered glass from the mirror above the sink lay scattered on the floor. A portable CD player teeters on the edge of the tub with U2’s “Numb” set on repeat. The rabbit looks around, mentally absorbing the scene. He begins to laugh uncontrollably.</div>
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Although Rabbit spent the rest of the day with a twitching eye, irritable bowels and sensitive nipples, his experience taught him two valuable lessons; 1. Fruity Pebbles are way better than Trix and 2. Trix ARE for kids…kids that don’t know how to party.</div>
</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-21816700499594953692010-12-16T19:17:00.000-08:002011-03-08T22:17:09.267-08:00Doctor Dreadful Food Lab<div> <span style="font-size:78%;"><em>Posted By Booze Fighter</em></span></div><br /><div> </div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551487270485267522" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TQrYQmxglEI/AAAAAAAAAE8/5qi_OlvX8Nw/s400/dr%2Bdreadful.jpg" /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>"Ooooh Billy, do you want a freshly baked cup cake?</div><br /><br /><div>Is Schwarzenegger hard to spell? Bitch give me that cup cake. Yum. So where did you get these, from your <a href="http://www.themaneater.com/media/2010/0909/photos/FAT005.jpg">lame momma</a>? </div><br /><br /><div>"No I made them with my Easy Bake Oven...oven..oven...oven...oven..."<br /><br />I remember that stun; that abysmal fuzziness after you take a digger on your huffy. This shock was due to the fact that little girls everywhere could get instant, homemade taste-bud gratification with their Easy Bake Ovens and all I had was a bowl of Kix and freeze dried milk.<br /><br />Panic set in for all boys. They were alone in the world of munchies, hoping...no...praying their sisters would get an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas, so they could hoax them into making them a <a href="http://static-p4.fotolia.com/jpg/00/05/36/07/400_F_5360739_3DK6gee3Ea3ritUpNllSBAf5fJraWIxP.jpg">personal Confetti Cake</a>.<br /><br />Delirious from hunger pains, one of your slow-minded chums approaches you with a plate of Creepy Crawlers. SMACK...Dumpy, you buffoon, Creepy Crawlers are only for people with Pica. Gah...<a href="http://www.supermanhomepage.com/images/chris-reeve-movies/general-zod.jpg">imbecile</a>. Are boys forever damned in this cruel cruel world? Is there no one that will help us?<br /><br />A strange and diabolical laughter comes from the bowels of Geoffrey the Giraffe. Like the Pied Piper, the hungry youth flocked to Toys R' Us, where explosions and chaos were errupting from aisle 8.<br /><br />"Muhahahahahaha...TASTE, need more TASTE!!!" This Dr. Wily look-a-like mother fucker is going nuts; adding potions that smell just as good as a pepperoni pizza to something that already looks just as good. Who is this wild scientist? Why does he create so much taste?<br /><br />The answer: Dr. Dreadful, and no his name does not speak for his creations. If that were the case he would be the original Dr. Feelgood. This Spin Doctor 360's the world that Easy Bake Oven had created. With a Doctor Dreadful Food Lab one can create anything from Gummy Guts to your very own Zombie Blood Soda Pop. Unfortunatly Dr. Dreadful was nabbed by the men in white coats and was never to be seen again.<br /><br />I found out that Dr. Dreadful is being let out of Bell View to be re-released into the world, hell-bound on creating <a href="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20051122034552/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/e/e1/RonaldMcHitler.jpg/200px-RonaldMcHitler.jpg">TASTE</a>. If this is news to you, or you just don't care, you should go choke on some Creepy Crawlers or forever be subdued by your sister and her Easy Bake Oven.</div></div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-27777479924202051362010-11-18T16:34:00.000-08:002010-11-23T22:23:27.503-08:00Greeting Cards<div><br /><div><span ><em>Posted By Hi Five</em></span><br /></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 337px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5541057318634200866" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TOXKRgVFHyI/AAAAAAAAAE0/whnR7mn6hpo/s400/free-humor-birthday-cards.jpg" />Few things in this world are as downright soulless as greeting cards. Greeting cards piss me off more than <a href="http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Tyra-Banks-Rabies-2.jpg">Tyra Banks' face</a>. Why, as a society, do we feel the need to give a card on every occasion, no matter how meaningless it may be? I can kind of understand birthday cards for little kids. They open the card, it has a picture of some stupid clown with his hair on fire and it says something dumb like "Hope you have a torchingly funny brithday!" The kid gets a twenty dollar bill, and everyone wins. Well guess what? No one wins when you feel like you have to buy people holiday cards, sympathy cards, sorry your dog is dead cards, get well soon from your cancer cards and all those other stupid times of the year in which people deem card worthy. God forbid I don't show up to my nephews baptism with a "Try holy water death breath!!!" card. God might not let me into heaven. I'm sure the kid would approach me 20 years later and be like "Hey Uncle Hi Five, why didnt you give me a card for my baptism? That really hurt my feelings." And if the little douche did say that I would have to punch his brain out of his head and baptize him with his own blood.<br /><br />Aside from the fact that cards even exist, that alone is enough to make my blood boil, I can't stand how idiotic most of them are. I can't count the number of times I've gone looking for a card and the words "dumb", "retarted", "what the fuck", "who is the fucking moron who wrote this?", "<a href="http://thejunction.net/blog-images/angry-hobo.jpg">I feel like killing someone</a> because I just read that" comes out of my mouth. I am through with looking at cards that have a dog chasing its tail on the cover and on the inside it says something like "Its your birthday! Don't run around in circles, relax!" HAHAHAHA. Fuck you. You'll be running around in circles when I'm chasing you with <a href="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.cinematical.com/media/2007/10/malachi-2-monster-gallery.jpg">Malachai's</a> machete because you wrote that card, idiot.<br /><br />I guess it just comes down to convenience and laziness. No one wants to put thought into things, which is why cards exist. Yet, the irony of it all, is if you dont get someone a card for one of these typical occasions, you're looked at as someone who is thoughtless. And these holier than thou, stick-up-their-ass douchebags look down their noses at you. "Hmmm, did you see that rebellious youth not give a card, for shame." No, sorry <a href="http://cache2.asset-cache.net/xc/87152803.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=64BF2D51AFD75C2E5C522E2280383F7DE01F946D4AC3972C261B93197690AD3FE30A760B0D811297">Dr. Society</a>, i didnt think your little bastard sons first birthday was worth my time and money. Next time any "card occasion" comes up, I'm just going to make my own. On the cover it will say "This is the last card you will ever get from me in this lifetime," and on the inside there will be a picture of Chris Benoit dragging his thumb across his throat with the words "Fuck you" below it. I'll be done handing these things out in no time. </div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-77232963871988196662010-11-03T04:30:00.000-07:002010-11-18T16:54:33.011-08:00Candy Crap Corn<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted By Fly Boy</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:+0;"></span></em><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 308px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535285276409043362" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TNFIobbPmaI/AAAAAAAAAEk/aJYVnY87lCs/s400/candy+corn.jpg" /><br /><div>Costume parties, horror-movie marathons, haunted houses, daddy's beatings; these are all components of the greatest holiday known to man, Halloween. There is one item, synonymous to Halloween, that plagues the holiday vibe more than the <a href="http://www.popfi.com/wp-content/uploads/creepy-kid-with-ham.jpg">greedy little douchebag</a> that takes all the candy when the sign clearly states "Please take one." That item is none other than the infamous Candy Corn.<br /><br />Everything about this corn syrup and sugar combination screams DISAPPOINTING, from its unrepresentative name to its <a href="http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/cityofate/buttermilk.jpg">displeasing</a> array of colors. Candy Corn is the treat kidnapping rapists give their captives for being "a good girl." Its the candy your grandmother gives you every year, because she's had an industrial size bag since 1987. Its the corn that every mythical creature would find in their stool if they were to exist. Candy Corn is what you eat if you hate yourself.<br /><br />I read somewhere that one company in Texas produces enough Candy Corn each year to circle the earth 4.25 times if the kernels were laid end to end. What?...Why?...What population are they tending too? I am currently purchasing a plane ticket to Dallas to burn this factory to the ground. I will then bask in the fumes of charred sugar and corn syrup while I make ash angels in its remains. Meanwhile, everyone else should do their part and stop purchasing Candy Corn. If you are a fan of Candy Corn, and are amongst the population questioned above, then I graciously ask of you two favors...1. cut yourself and 2. get your fix during another Holiday, like <a href="http://statics.podcasters.tv/podcastimage_147627.gif">Kwanzaa</a>. Halloween doesn't need Candy Corn in its arsenal of awesomeness.</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-40205143536809783582010-10-27T19:58:00.000-07:002010-11-03T04:39:52.068-07:00Die, Green Ranger, Die!<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted By Bas Rutten</span></em><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:+0;"></span></em><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532926875326413682" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TMjnrawK-3I/AAAAAAAAAEc/haMkfIOgB-U/s400/Mighty+Morphin+Power+Rangers.jpg" /><br /><div><a href="http://stoppopculture.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/whoomp-there-it-is-300x300.jpg">The year was 1994</a> and all was well for little eight-year old Jason as his alarm clock woke him up on a sunny, autumn morning at 7:25. By the time he got dressed and went downstairs his favorite TV show on. That show was Mighty Morphin Power Rangers; with the Red Ranger, Jason, of course being his favorite. Jason was the leader of the pack; he took no shit. You all know he was Porkin’ Pink Kim and Drirrin’ Yerrow Trini as he told Zack to make him a ham sandwich and Billy to play chess with his hipster friends.<br /><br />The red ranger's popularity rubbed off on little Jason as he strolled into school with his red ranger lunchbox and backpack. He was the cool kid. He was looked up to by his peers. All the girls were gossiping about his weenus. Jason was living life. He was on top of the world…<br /><br />Then, out of nowhere, his life turned into a living hell as the Green Ranger, Tommy, came on board and ripped the heart out of all the Jason’s of the world, especially Mr. Weenus himself. This no good chump went face-to-face in a martial arts battle with Jason and matched up to him; forcing the Yellow (irony) Ranger to recruit him. This mother fucker even had the dragon shield. This sheild could heal and deflect attacks, which was much cooler than a red, spandex-wearing fairy jumping around. Because of this, Jason was no longer the man. All the Jason’s took a step back, while all the Tommy’s of the world were now cool; hell, even the retard <a href="http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/67/72/a4/my-dorky-bro-mark.jpg">Tommy Blankenship</a> from special-ed got a handy on the 3rd grade short bus…a legend still to this day.<br /><br />All the Jason’s in the world will never forgive the Green Ranger for ruining their collective parade of hope and glory. It has affected me, Mr. Weenus, to the point where I wear my red ranger outfit every morning at 7:25, thinking of the times where I was a somebody. Yes...those were the days.</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-20372181012858755612010-10-24T19:29:00.000-07:002010-10-26T04:15:58.519-07:00Revenge of Milky<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted By Booze Fighter</span></em><br /><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 172px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 204px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5531805702765041570" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TMTr-lfKV6I/AAAAAAAAAEU/YUA6NI9As70/s400/milky.png" /> </p><p>Joe and Bob Rosselle teamed up in 1982 to distrubute tasty cold treats to all of the hot and hazy Bostonians, but their ice cream handouts were just a cover. Inside the womb of their first Thermo King, tossed and churned an <a href="http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/files/2008/09/ice-cream-palin-1.jpg">Ice Demon</a>...Milky.<br /><br />I believe, Milky was supposed to resemble a happy, everyday milk man, but instead, Milky looked more like a cream slinger from hell. His robotic appearence meant one thing...death to all.<br /><br />It's 102 degrees outside. Your shoes are melting to the sidewalk. Wait, whats that blurry figure in the distence walking this way ever so chipper? You pause with confusion. You hear the jingles of an ice cream truck. By now your shoes have become one with the asphalt.<br /><br />"Shit, I think the heats getting to me lil' sis. All i can hear, besides our flesh cooking, is the taunts of an ice cream truck nearby, and all i can see is...oh shit! ohhh SHIT. Samantha, untie your shoes and jump to the grass if you can. That figure moseying this way is MILKY!<br /><br />Both children frantically try to untie their shoes but the heat and the music Milky is dispensing from his ears are putting both of them into a trance; like a cobra's dance to a mouse before it is ingested.<br /><br />Gotta snap out of it, gotta run. Milky is now picking up his pace from a lacksadaisical step to a moderate stride, holding a two-ball screwball in one hand and a bloody ice pick in the other.<br /><br />FUCK he's creepy. Milky's facial expression doesn't change but you can tell he's on the hunt, for his music switches from "<a href="http://www.inspectorlohmann.com/images/blog/glurge.1.jpg">You are My Sunshine</a>" to Pantera's "<a href="http://www.horrorstew.com/images/redclownmain.jpg">Walk</a>." God, why does it have to end this way?<br /><br />Well, it wouldn't have ended that way Jimbo if RoseV Dairy had picked a better Logo. Maybe then it wouldn't have come to life and eaten your brains like a Choco Taco. Now Milky is raising the cold, creamy dead for his unholy army. The Hulkster, the Bozo Cup, the Widget Pop and yes even Tweety are now Ice Cream Zombies ready to embark frost bite all over the Greater Boston Area.</p>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-15934628095853906602010-10-21T04:44:00.000-07:002010-10-21T20:33:07.238-07:00One Radical Son of a Bitch!<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted By Hi Five</span></em><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 281px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530465123466003634" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TMAoumbgxLI/AAAAAAAAAEM/CrHxcnl0j7I/s400/point_break_poster.jpg" /><br />Few movies in this world are equal to 1991's Point Break. Starring Keanu Reeves, as FBI agent Johnny Utah and Patrick Swayze as Bodhi, the charismatic leader of a gang of surfing bank robbers. Point Break hooks the audience immediatley with its <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT63Nq2ZTOU">catchy dialogue</a>, <a href="http://www.rivercityvibe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/busey.jpeg">memorable characters</a> and <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9D3stWe--bQ/S5amEFjJdVI/AAAAAAAAAxo/sUuWdn_kgZk/s400/swazy-point-break11.jpg">intense action sequences</a>. But enough with the cliches, let me break it down and tell you why this movie is second to few.<br /><br />Johnny Utah, Bodhi, Roach, Grommet, Bunker, Tone....Warchild?! Whoever named the characters in this movie is a genius. Point Break hands down has the best character names of any movie I have ever seen. As a matter of fact, my future wife better have an open mind when we name our children, because if little Johnny Utah isn't playing little league, or adorable Warchild isn't going to be trick or treating, she can hit the road.<br /><br />The number of memorable lines in this movie is endless. Many times i have found myself telling people "I only live to get radical" and when they look at me like I'm the weirdo, I have them hold the Point Break DVD in front of their chest, then I spin kick it through their heart. Needless to say, the amount of people whose last words were "wow that was radical" has increased greatly since I first saw this film in the mid 1990's. What makes the movie's dialogue so good are the types of words the screenwriter decides to use. Throughout the movie, the words such as <a href="http://musosguide.com/public_html/musos.wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Klaxons_Surfing-The-Void-300x300.jpg">wild</a>, <a href="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/wussmode/fat-kid-wendys.jpg">babe</a>, <a href="http://imgsrv.nightswithalicecooper.com/image/nwac/UserFiles/Image/ronnie_james_dio_.bmp">jam</a>, and <a href="http://www.surferart.com/HomePageResources/SevGuit2.jpg">radical</a> can be found coming from the mouths of any given character. I guess I just cant seem to get enough of a long haired, radical, surf nazi calling a cop a fuckin' pig as he unloads his clip from his automatic weapon at him.<br /><br />The environment in this movie is also very distinct. Whenever I watch this film, I feel like it should be a warm summer day outside, even it's in the middle of the winter. One particular scene, that gives me this feeling, is at a party at the Ex Presidents beach house. This has to be a top-five party scene that you would want in any movie. It starts off with Johnny Utah venturing into the building to find Jimi Hendrix jamming over the loud speakers, Grommet (Bodhi's younger brother) tripping out on drugs and Bodhi, himself, jazzing up a black girl and taking tequila shots. Soon, the crew moves out to the beach where they tell stories about "big wave riding," then they proceed to do a little "stealth mission," nightime surfing themselves. If i could go to this party every saturday night for the rest of my life, I would.<br /><br />One thing that I need to point out is how out of control Warchild and his thugs really are. There is one scene where they are on their way home from the beach in their flat bed truck, and they are literally swerving between 3 lanes of traffic on the highway, hanging out the sides and yelling at people. Imagine you are in your suit and tie on your way home from work, and you look out your window to see a group of long haired, metal-looking pshycopaths screaming obscenities at you. When they arrive back at their house, they say "fuck the driveway" and just barrel over the curb, right up onto the front lawn. Talk about a group of fellas who give the middle finger to the man, huh? If these guys didnt tweak out on so much crack and own so many guns, I would want to hang out with them just as much as I want to hang out with the ex presidents.<br /><br />In addition to great characters, quotable dialogue, and palatable scenes, Point Break really does have an excellent plot. A "young, dumb and <a href="http://www.mybiocharts.com/images/celebs/lindsay_lohan.jpg">full of cum</a>" FBI agent comes to town and joins forces with a veteran agent. Together they try to track down "The Ex Presidents;" a group of surfers who are willing to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate ride. However, in a slight twist, the FBI protagonist befriends this group of criminals and soon learns that they are ones he seeks to track down. Soon, all hell ensues through a number of action packed chase, surfing and skydiving scenes. In the end Johnny Utah gets his man, but in the process his character goes on a life changing journey, in which he discovers there is more to life than simply abiding by the everyday rules of society. Overall, Point Break is a must see for anyone who is born, and if you have yet to see it, all i can say is "Goddamn, you are one radical son of a bitch!"Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-42665284240541680022010-10-15T17:52:00.000-07:002010-10-21T04:51:11.282-07:00Lost Complainers<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted by Dobb Master Flex</span></em><br /><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 267px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528458726527684738" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TLkH67YXUII/AAAAAAAAAEE/IJBLuhOi8jU/s400/John+Locke.jpg" /><br /><div>This post goes out to all the people who have ever (or would like to) complained about Lost. Look, everyone knows that there were a lot of questions brought up by the show throughout the series, and it may have seemed like the writers were trying to <a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1127/1118199200_0e89834658.jpg">mess with your brain</a>. Most likely this was true, but I, and every other true fan, enjoyed every minute of it. For the "lost" people, i.e. coworkers, I think it would have been best if you stopped complaining at my cubicle about how you couldn't wait for the series to end because you can't follow the show anymore; you are now on my list. <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kLaJM9Mcz2U/R8LEwzsLGQI/AAAAAAAABSk/EJQd25eGQ_c/s400/isabelle_levenez1.jpg">Maybe you have a short attention span</a>. So what if they didn't answer every single last question that you have retained since the first season. Some questions are better left unsaid; there is only so much that we could have accomplished from analyzing or blogging about the show.<br /><br />During the show's final days, I had a major sociological revelation when I found that there were two types of Lost fans, or really, two types of people. The first type just sat back and enjoyed the <a href="http://www.epicfunnypictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/roller-coaster-lead.jpg">roller coaster ride</a> of a show. The second was a <a href="http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/midget_clown.jpg">bitter person</a> who simply watched out of obligation but didn't even care anymore. This person needs to crash on a deserted island with a smoke monster and an electromagnetism problem to learn their lesson (I haven't even mentioned anything about the space/time continuum). I don't think that's too far from a realistic punishment. Look, if you are catching up now, or just re-watching the show for the fun of it, just enjoy it. As Steven Tyler once said "Life's a journey. Not a destination." Every episode offers some sort of entertainment; incredible one liners, great acting, and let's not forget about the Lost drinking game. Seriously, how many times did you complain throughout the show's history only to be proven wrong at the end? Probably every season. So do me a favor, shut your mouth, or stop watching. It's up to you. But no matter what, don't tell John Locke what he can't do, because he has so many ridiculous anecdotes about life and carries really large knives. </div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-11454991741599337152010-10-11T15:12:00.000-07:002010-10-13T04:56:03.166-07:00Baby on Board<em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted by Fly Boy</span></em><br /><span style="font-size:+0;"></span><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 280px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 275px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526916979710032274" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TLONtc6w-ZI/AAAAAAAAAD8/uF5-jvpjsbQ/s400/Baby-On-Board.jpg" />There are people in the world that can irritate you to the point where you just want to punch that individual through the sternum and remove their still beating heart. For some, it’s the Guido "<a href="http://www.guidofistpump.com/guido%20pix/GuidoOompa.jpg">juicehead</a>" with the Japanime hair cut. For others, it’s the celebrity who adopts <a href="http://www.cnet.com/i/bto/20081217/new_years_baby.jpg">foreign babies</a> and preaches about the hardships of third world countries. For me, it’s the people who find it necessary to have a “Baby on Board” sign suctioned to their car window.<br /><br />Do these parents think that this sign prevents anyone from accidentally rear-ending them? Do they believe that the sign creates an impenetrable force field that protects them from on-coming traffic? Or maybe they believe that there are drivers out there that purposely look for other vehicles to hit because they are bored; “Hmmm, let’s see. Who should I share my insurance information with today? How about that Dodge Caravan…oh no wait, I can’t…there is a baby on board. I guess I’ll hit this Nissan with the <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1INH3fOI6pM/SwGo4Kg-z7I/AAAAAAAABlc/1nSKzsAwowE/s1600/IMAQT1+vanity+plate.jpg">vanity plate</a> and John Kerry sticker.<br /><br />This bright yellow sign not only irritates me and every woman with a faulty uterus, it also entices every <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aFxM4BmmZ28/SUs8-NlvYZI/AAAAAAAAAhY/BvTom05kNFs/s400/best_guy_ever.jpg">pedophile</a> driver in the area. So if you are one of these over-cautious parents and you happen to notice a bald guy with horned-rim glasses following you in a station wagon with wood paneling, do NOT freak out…you did this to yourself.<br /><br />It is safe to say that this so called “warning sign” does more harm than good and should be immediately recalled. Any parent who purchases this product should not be allowed to raise children. Their ignorance will infect our youth, which in turn, will affect our future.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-21932652940518337192010-10-10T17:46:00.000-07:002010-10-11T15:44:10.855-07:00Mirrion<span style="font-size:78%;"><em>Posted By Bas Rutten</em></span><br /><div><div><div><span style="font-size:0;"></span></div><div><br /></div><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 319px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526592207893827170" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TLJmVPn0DmI/AAAAAAAAADs/lpABzYdDXLY/s400/Jerry+Yang.bmp" /> </div><div>Throughout life, phrases and words come and go with age. Some we look back upon and laugh ("<a href="http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg19/pmorency/The-Muppets-Wipe-Out-154186.jpg">radical!</a>"), others we ask ourselves what the fuck we were thinking ("<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-H2EumRd1Yw/TEkhMhOVhyI/AAAAAAAAAF4/jL4f7Qhp8h4/s1600/wigger.jpg">da bomb!</a>"). Some made people angry, and others made people make fun and spit at you ("<a href="http://www.ihatebryanboy.com/bryanboy/images4/hipster_2.jpg">hella</a>"). Whatever the circumstance, phrases and words are, and always will be, little fuckers that come and go, which I like to call the "phases of phrases." However, one man changed all of that. One man looked down at two playing cards in 2007 and made the world a better place. One man proved so powerful that his words and phrases defeated over 6,000 humans, all by his fucking self. This little 5-foot nothin', sun-glass wearin', kiddie picture kissin' son of a bitch changed the course of life by uttering two words: "I raise." Jerry Yang is that man.<br /><br />Not only did Jerry send chills down the spines of the other players, at the final table in the main event of the 2007 World Series Of Poker, he made them quiver, drool, sweat, and pant when he raised: "Two point eight MIRRION." No, not 2.8 million, as the thousands of other poker players would have said while their opponents did not take them seriously and re-pop it to 10, he "raced mirrrrions" and took home the top prize of over 6 "mirrion dorrars" and has not looked back since.<br /><br />Jerry has proved to be an inspiration to mirrions across the world, as this word can be used at any point, any time, and any place to the delight of the mirrions...AND MIRRIONS! of the Yang's fans.<br /><br /><a href="http://diehipster.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/hayden_hipster.jpg?w=300&h=300">Morton Schlitz</a>: "Yo man, my grandmother died from the mumps yesterday."<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bkFIPLIOGL8/TBeBizuWv5I/AAAAAAAArus/alFbkw4g6z4/s320/homeless-crazy-man-2.jpg">Homeless George</a>: "Mirrion."</div></div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-78146545203159455882010-10-06T18:12:00.000-07:002010-10-11T15:43:51.891-07:00Break This Game<span style="font-size:78%;"><em>Posted by Booze Fighter</em><br /></span><span style="font-size:+0;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:+0;"></span><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525109451153894466" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TK0hxcUubEI/AAAAAAAAADM/7pnaPJSqCPo/s320/Dont+Break+The+Ice.jpg" />Don't Break the Ice - Milton Bradley 1968<br /><br />I'd like to say, first and for most, that this game is a complete pile of <a href="http://www.chicken-scratch.ca/Edgar%20Allan%20Poe%20Action%20Figure.jpg">plastic shit</a>. The set up to play ratio is 100sec/1sec, so basically it's 99% a waste of time. The games idiocy was so apparently world wide that it actually angered a whole population of North Vietnamese; which sparked the first Anti-Shitty Game Campaign (later to be known as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tet_offensive">The Tet Offensive</a>)...unleashing their rage on all those who thought hitting plastic cubes of lame, till the man on the shitter cam crashing down, was actually a good idea.<br /><br />Years later you still catch this peon of the gaming world loitering where it shouldn't be, like next to an elite gaming system or anywhere not on fire. The only way this game would be slightly more legit is if, with every blow, the hammer played the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGS_kq3Lsos">bonus tune</a> from Wreckin' Crew (NES Classic) and as the retarded, red man falls, he screams "<a href="http://14.media.tumblr.com/GZbqLZ3AXn8348r7LaY4Ns0Mo1_500.jpg">CREED IS A LEGIT ROCK GROUP</a>," and then lays waste in a vat of lava.<br /><br />Die you lier. Die you game.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-75517180051056264272010-10-02T13:22:00.001-07:002010-10-11T15:44:26.077-07:00Feldmanology<span style="font-size:85%;"><em><span style="font-size:78%;">Posted by Hi Five</span></em><br /></span><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523609475105327794" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/TKfNjWGiirI/AAAAAAAAADE/fC_szjhYRnA/s320/Corey+Feldman.jpg" /> <div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>What do <a href="http://mimg.sulekha.com/hindi/my-friend-ganesha-3/stills/my-friend-ganesha-3-016.jpg">Ganesha</a>, <a href="http://mimg.sulekha.com/hindi/robot/stills/robot-04.jpg">Allah</a>, and <a href="http://www.wazza.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/godjesus.jpg">Jesus</a> all have in common?<br />The answer, of course, is that their god is Corey Feldman.<br /><br />Well, let me rephrase. Their God was Corey Feldman between the years 1985 and 1989. You see, during this five year period, Mr. Feldman was busy creating what is now looked at as the highest peak in cinematic history. I am referring to the unstoppable force of films known as: The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Lost Boys and The 'Burbs. When looked at closely, one can see the evolution of awesomeness that took place during this period.<br /><br />Feldman knew right from the get-go that he had the magic. In The Goonies he was always combing his hair and being totally radical, all while telling that dumb ugly bitch with glasses to shut-up half the time; so kudos to that. True, some might say that by the end of the Goonies he was being nice to that short haired dyke-looking lass, but by this time Feldman was maturing and just wanted to get some snatch. The theory of "the best way to get a hot girl is to go after her <a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/smart_girls_rock_shirt-p235164839029614104quhq_400.jpg">ugly friend</a> first" was made into law during this movie. Everyone knows Andy the Cheerleader was Mouths main target. Boing.<br /><br />Next in Feldman's repertoire of jamtastic flicks was Stand by Me. We get to see a dark side of Corey, as he portrayed the semi-psychotic, army obsessed youth, Teddy Duchamp. Want to know what happens when you start making movies with River Phoenix? <a href="http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/splatter-coreyfeldman.jpg">You start doing drugs</a>. Whenever I see this movie, I wish that I was a fifteen year old actor during the eighties, who got to run around, smoke weed and play "guns" with his buddies on a movie set. Pretty sweet.<br /><br />Apparently a good drug connection was made during Stand by Me, because co-cast members Kiefer Sutherland and Corey Feldman reunited in 1987 to create a movie that is unparalleled by any other, The Lost Boys. At the peak of his high, Corey Feldman was killing vampires and selling comic books. Wow. If Vampires were to in fact exist, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSG_uYkExHY">this</a> would be the type of world I would want to live in.<br /><br />For his rock n' roll encore, Mr. Feldman stars in the 'Burbs as Ricky Butler. All you need to know about this movie, besides that it gives the Boogeyman wet dreams, is a description of how Feldmans character first enters the fray: A long haired, sunglass wearing Feldman enters your screen, carrying a bucket of paint in one hand, a boom box in another, with a paint brush hanging out of his mouth. After slamming his radio down on the porch, non-chalantly placing the spilling can of paint on top of the radio, he cranks the tunes. As the music begins, this 80's god begins to play air guitar. Essentially saying "fuck painting, Mom, its time to <a href="http://www.slickshoes.com/corey-feldman-slick-shoes.jpg">jam out</a>."<br /><br />Unfortunately Corey Feldman never went on to do much more. In fact, he started <a href="http://content.hollywire.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/michael-jackson-corey-feldman.jpeg">hanging out</a> with Michael Jackson and became just another miserable <a href="http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01003/Corey_Feldman_1003122a.jpg">freak</a>. During the life span of Jesus Christ there is a period of time between the ages of 12-30, when no one really knows what the hell was going on with the son of god. I like to think of Corey Feldman in a similiar way. Between the years of 1985 and 1989, Corey Feldman was busy creating a religion. He was building a house that stood upon the four pillars described above, with a cult following of people like myself. As for the years prior to 1985 and post 1989, I guess I will simply think of those as the lost years of Feldman.</div></div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-79105613196327506182010-01-14T15:23:00.000-08:002010-01-14T15:32:43.111-08:00Coca Cola's Monsters of the Gridiron: 1994<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Booze Fighter</em></span><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0-pX1n3WVI/AAAAAAAAACc/QcqUCk2gZG0/s1600-h/Monsters+of+the+Gridiron.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426742303001106770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0-pX1n3WVI/AAAAAAAAACc/QcqUCk2gZG0/s320/Monsters+of+the+Gridiron.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tecmo_Super_Bowl">Next to Tecmo Superbowl</a> in the realm of my childhood football memories lays a stack of cards, waiting to be held and horded like crack cheese to a <a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/25/53064309_fc1bf87031.jpg">crack house rat</a>.<br /><br />Coke Monsters of the Gridiron was a creative way to market NFL players, and to get people to buy massive amounts of Coca Cola during the Halloween Season. I believe if you bought a 12 pack it came with 1 card outa 30… from <a href="http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/F/FaulMa00.htm">Marshall “The Missile” Faulk</a> to <a href="http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/S/SwilPa00.htm">Pat “Chillin'” Swilling</a>.<br /><br />Please Coke, bring these back. It’s been 16 years since you did something cool like this and now that I’m older and grew some brains I’d save these hip and rad cards instead of using them as an accelerant to <a href="http://www.brookston.org/pix/g-group-25.jpg">melt my army men</a>.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-1945872329959922652010-01-13T15:24:00.000-08:002010-10-13T04:56:33.808-07:00Video Game Review: A Boy and His Blob<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Fly Boy</em></span><br /><div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S05d1-yO5yI/AAAAAAAAACU/iy8pf5d_kZs/s1600-h/A+Boy+and+His+Blob.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 233px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426377782996166434" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S05d1-yO5yI/AAAAAAAAACU/iy8pf5d_kZs/s320/A+Boy+and+His+Blob.jpg" /></a><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_boy_and_his_blob">A Boy and his Blob</a> is a Nintendo video game about a boy…and his blob. Like many Nintendo games one would purchase at a yard sale, this game lacked any real story. You begin the game in the middle of a desolate street at night with a sack of jelly beans and a bouncing amoeba that slightly resembles an albino <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/slimer.jpg">Slimer</a>. At this point the player is already pondering such questions as "who is this boy?" "Where did he get this blob?" and "What the hell am I supposed to do?"<br /><br />Unfortunately, the game fails to answer any of these questions and forces you to use your imagination. If I had to write the story of A Boy and His Blob it may go a little something like this:<br /><br />Boy lived a hard life. He was raised by his abusive step father and crack-addicted mother, who failed to properly name him. He grew up never really knowing his biological father, except for the occasional stories his mother would tell when she was coming down off the rock. She would tell him that his father was a miner named <a href="http://www.sarm.ca/assets/Image/Board%20Photos/Steele,%20Doug.jpg">Doug</a> and that he spent most of his life digging. Then one day, when Boy was a baby, Doug decided he'd had enough of family life and abandoned Boy and his mother in pursuit of his dream to reach the center of the Earth. At first, Boy paid little attention to his ranting mother, but at the age of 12 he developed a mild case of schizophrenia and her stories began to make sense. By the age of 13, Boy began to suffer from severe depression. He felt scared and alone. To counter his feelings of insecurity he created an imaginary friend named Blob, who convinced Boy to kill his step father, rob a candy store, and set out on a journey seeking revenge on his biological father at the center of the Earth. (Press “A” to begin)<br /><br />Even though A Boy and His Blob lacks a sense of plot and what would seem like a definitive ending, it is definitely an entertaining side scroller. The concept of the game, feeding a blob an assortment of jellybeans that cause it to morph into various objects that are intended to assist you, is interesting and innovative to say the least. The game has a bit of a learning curve and the blob can piss you off worse than the dog from Duck Hunt, but don't let this discourage you. All in all, A Boy and His Blob is 1/4 fun, 1/4 frustration, and 1/2 <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv1HgKMZL-E&feature=related">what the fuck?</a></div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-83387320529753718212010-01-12T17:51:00.000-08:002010-01-12T17:56:51.791-08:00Movie Review: Dragon Wars<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Booze Fighter</em></span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S00nh6vSe_I/AAAAAAAAACM/hq7YVL9-D34/s1600-h/Dragon+Wars.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426036589708082162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 256px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S00nh6vSe_I/AAAAAAAAACM/hq7YVL9-D34/s320/Dragon+Wars.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div>More like “Dragon Snores.” <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-War_(film)">Dragon Wars</a> didn’t even have a friggin’ dragon in it until the last five minutes of the movie which was glorified by eating the one lady they were trying to save the whole damn movie. If you like dragons or ninjas stay away. On second thought, I wish I didn’t write this review because I’ll be reminded of this terrible movie every time I sign on to write here. Dragon Wars is a deer tick equipped with rocket launchers ready to shoot <a href="http://cdn1.ioffer.com/img/item/986/524/57/o_WseZRtdxGy5GXpo.jpg">Yanni memorabilia</a> at your face.</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-15571192779887393022010-01-11T15:47:00.000-08:002010-01-13T16:26:57.450-08:00Movie Review: Masters of the Universe<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Hi Five</em></span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0u7w8Jc90I/AAAAAAAAACE/uGSJ3XItwrM/s1600-h/Masters+of+the+Universe.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425636625551783746" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 209px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0u7w8Jc90I/AAAAAAAAACE/uGSJ3XItwrM/s320/Masters+of+the+Universe.jpg" border="0" /></a>Of all the Star Wars rip-offs, the only worth while watch would have to be the masterful <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masters_of_the_Universe_(film)">MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE</a>.<br /><br />Set in the land of Eternia, He-Man (played by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolph_Lundgren">Dolph Lundgren</a>) and friends find themselves in a bit of a pickle when Skeletor and his cronies crash the party and make heads roll. Skeletor captures the Sorceress, takes over the Castle of Greyskull, and tries to enslave He-Man. Basically, he wants to make peoples' lives a living hell.<br /><br />There are many parts of this movie that bear similiarities to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_wars">Star Wars</a>. Storm Trooper look alikes, laser beams that deflect off of swords, a cloaked bad guy who can shoot lightning from his body, bounty hunters, the struggle between futuristic good and evil...the list goes on and on. However, once you get past the fact that this movie directly steals from Star Wars, you start to appreciate the awesomeness that this film brings to the table. Let me review a couple scenes for you.<br /><br />After transporting to earth, the good guys in this movie find themselves conveniently located near one of the most delicious fast food places ever found in a film, Robby's Chicken Shack. Of course, the wily veteran of the group, Man-at-Arms, follows his nose toward the tempting fried chicken and ribs. However, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKGCpeKlQQM">Gwildor</a>, a troll look alike, beats him to the punch and goes fly-fishing for some freshly fried buckets of food out of a nearby convertible. Upon learning that they are indeed eating meat from an animal, the female warrior Teela condemns the two hungerstricken heroes for being so inhumane. Shut up, bitch... and go make me a space burger. Man, this scene always makes me hungry.<br /><br />Meanwhile, Skeletor is freaking out because no one has died at his hands yet. He sends a few of his top notch bounty hunters to track down He-Man and company. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJY7w2d703g&feature=related#t=20s">This motley crew of evil</a> consists of Blade, Karg, Beastman and some lizard guy that gets totally annihilated by Skeletor when they return empty handed. This very well could be the best collection of bad guys ever assembled in any movie. The quintessential scene involving these guys is when they break into the high school gym, dominate the janitor (resulting in his being sent off to the looney bin on a stretcher), set the place on fire, and chase after a poor unsuspecting Courtney Cox.<br /><br />A few other characters of note are the following:<br /><br />Evil-Lyn is Skeletors right hand woman, who does all his dirty work. At one point, she shapeshifts into Courtney Cox's dead mother, just to gain the dumb bitch's trust in order to get the cosmic key back from her. This was pretty much the original mind fuck.<br /><br />Lubic is the police Detective who doesnt know what the fuck is going on when these freaks show up in town and start shooting the place up during his graveyard shift. He tries to act all badass, but in reality he most likely shits his pants at the sight of Skeletor. I guess hes not as dumb as he looks though because at the end of the movie he is chilling in the land of Eternia with a few big titted space princesses and most likely goes on to own like 30 castles.<br /><br />In short, I guess this movie is like <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZgtAuULcmcQ/SrEy9rvnEBI/AAAAAAAAAj4/afodRNeaal4/s400/Weird-Halloween-costume-Picture-Gallery+grim+reaper.jpg">Halloween in July</a>. You see all these characters dressed up, walking around the streets and it just doesnt seem right, but you cant look away. The one thing is, they arent looking for candy, they are looking for the cosmic key so dont get in their way. Oh yeah, if the guy who looks like he just crawled out of a casket knocks on your door, shooting sparks out of his fingertips, dont answer it because its Skeletor and he will eat you. Just pray that He-Man flys by on his hovering saucer to save the day. If not, its your funeral. Just remember, we cant all be Masters of the Universe, but we all have the power to enjoy <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhuaKBsf0es">this cult classic</a>.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-47380180318940505442010-01-06T13:03:00.000-08:002010-01-06T13:13:08.608-08:00Food Review: Cadbury Mini Eggs<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Bas Rutten</em></span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0T7QAaHZEI/AAAAAAAAAB8/r3y-wuYkClA/s1600-h/Cadbury+Mini+Eggs.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423736103666934850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 246px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/S0T7QAaHZEI/AAAAAAAAAB8/r3y-wuYkClA/s320/Cadbury+Mini+Eggs.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>There is one reason and one reason alone why I love Easter. And no, it isn't <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vk-qDblYB0Q/Sc3359vlHsI/AAAAAAAABpA/8ZVikyN-4Pk/s400/Catrina%27s+Creepy+Bunny.jpg">Hoppy McSkip the Creep Bunny</a>. It's that it means it is time for those purple packages of paradise to hit stores all across America. Yes, I'm talking about the REAL eggs of Easter, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadbury_mini_eggs">Cadbury Mini Eggs</a>. Not to get you mixed up with those <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadbury_creme_eggs">creme eggs</a> endorsed by Nickleback and Daughtry... these little bonanzas are the real deal and shoot down from Heaven once a year into mouths of the screaming kids, adults, and <a href="http://www.solidsmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/racing-grandpa.jpg">Grandpa George's</a> all over the world. Personally, I like to try to shave off the thin colored shell with my chompers before indulging the best chocolate I've had since playing in Wonka's waterfall. How do you think Tiger Woods gets all his women? Let's just say buying a year's supply of these monsters has its perks. So, my friends, I give you a choice, either eat 2 bulky misspelled creme eggs with Chad Kroeger and his entourage of Canadian rock stars, or join me, Grandpa, Tiger, and the jam clan with a 32 ounce bag of these little buggers and make Easter morning a time to be happy again.</div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-17411070655147969792009-12-18T14:19:00.001-08:002010-10-13T04:56:56.281-07:00A Hunt For Something Familiar<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Fly Boy</em></span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SywDbKH2qgI/AAAAAAAAAB0/T35aUArpP6Y/s1600-h/Manhunt.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 251px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5416708216928512514" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SywDbKH2qgI/AAAAAAAAAB0/T35aUArpP6Y/s320/Manhunt.jpg" /></a> <div>Manhunt is a game of stealth, fear, and adrenaline. Manhunt is a lot like tag, if tag was storming the Beach of Normandy on an acid trip. Manhunt is like Tag’s older brother... if your older brother is the type who steals your lunch money and then proceeds to have sex with your girlfriend. I am not going to take this time to explain the rules of the game. If you do not know how to play, you may want to accuse your parents of neglect. If you plan to look for the rules of the game do not click on the first link in a Google search for "manhunt." That's what I did, and as a result, I ended up here:</div><br /><div>“MANHUNT is the world's <a href="http://www.gymtops.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/couture-affliction-tee.jpg">best place for men to meet online</a>; tens of thousands of guys are online this second! Get on, get off: The hunt is on.” </div><br /><div><a href="http://www.adrants.com/images/Killercar.jpg">What is the world coming to?</a> </div><br /><div></div><div>Unfortunately, kids these days are too busy for manhunt or any other backyard game that has satisfied generations prior. They are more interested in updating their facebook status and downloading Lady Gaga ringtones for their smart phone, while dressing in skin tight jeans and trendy flannels. Does the dawning of a technologically advanced society and the Twilight Saga mean the end of Manhunt? Not in my book.<br /></div><br /><div>Just because the new generation has lost its love for the great outdoors, doesn’t mean our generation can’t continue playing manhunt. I don’t see anything wrong with a group of grown men, dressed in all black, chasing each other in the middle of the night, lurking in unfamiliar backyards waiting to rescue a friend from an imaginary prison, all while being slightly intoxicated. Sounds like fun to me. So I ask my <a href="http://www.crossedsabers.com/images/horses/commander%2008%204.jpg">Soldiers of the Side Street</a> and <a href="http://www.frenchgardening.com/p/VJRobMal.JPG">Commanders of the Cul-de-sac</a> to come together and keep our favorite past-time alive. </div><br /><div>Manhunt anyone? </div>Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-1709469007209945422009-12-16T14:26:00.000-08:002009-12-18T14:34:51.268-08:00GUTS... Do You Have It??<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Hi Five</em></span> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SylfZfAgn3I/AAAAAAAAABs/vI6edY3ef-A/s1600-h/GUTS.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415964918314737522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SylfZfAgn3I/AAAAAAAAABs/vI6edY3ef-A/s320/GUTS.jpg" border="0" /></a> <p>Unfortunately the answer is "no" ever since this <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_guts">all time great sports competition gameshow </a>starring young children and teenagers was cancelled in 1995. To those of us still placing bets on the blue, red and purple competitors via syndication, we got a piece of the Aggro Crag dropped on our televisions in 2007 when <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_Gas">Nickelodeon GAS</a> went off the air and thus squashed a piece of every person who grew up in the early 90's in the process.<br /><br />For those of you who were homeschooled and too busy playing Oregon Trail in your backyard because your Mormon parents wouldnt allow TV, GUTS was a gameshow on Nickelodeon that pitted 3 preteens against each other to duel it out in a variety of sport-related events in the "Extreme Arena". These competitions, however, were by no means normal. "The Invisible Boat" allowed these kids to race over water in a Jesus like fashion, with only a paddle in hand and a harness strung from the heavens. The winner, of course, claimed <a href="http://www.incognitocomics.co.uk/_pics/FS_2396001.jpg">Ultimate Messiah status</a> and collected 300 points in their quest to become GUTS champion for that particular half hour. Other such memorable events were the Slam-a-Jama, Shoot Out and Wild Wheels. The latter was a competition that can only be described as the equivalent of a toddler dropping a couple tabs of acid and going for a joyride around the neighborhood on his tricycle.</p>This was the kind of show you often found yourself saying "Damn, I wish i had applied to this shit." Just once i want someone to ask me to "spill my guts" and I can tell them that to me GUTS means to "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o1G0GSiNQM">JAM OUT</a>." The fact of the matter is that host Mike O'Malley is no longer asking these questions, referee Moira Quirk is no longer announcing that Paul "running man" Battson is running away with the competition, and the spotters are no longer jumping up and down for joy as a 13 year old climbs a mountain of styrofoam.<br /><br />GUTS will forever stay atop the Aggro Crag, as one of the best - if not THE best - childrens' gameshow of all time. Not even <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Dare">Double Dare</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legends_of_the_hidden_temple">Legends of the Hidden Temple</a>, or even <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_and_crazy_kids">Wild and Crazy Kids</a> can compete with this timeless gem. If only it were released to DVD we could all find out once again what it means to have...GUTS.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-64100890519715172412009-12-15T17:22:00.000-08:002009-12-15T17:36:15.211-08:00Movie Review: Year One<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Booze Fighter</em></span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/Syg22MQwYLI/AAAAAAAAABk/FbHOpqtHRPo/s1600-h/Year+One.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415638856545362098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 215px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/Syg22MQwYLI/AAAAAAAAABk/FbHOpqtHRPo/s320/Year+One.jpg" border="0" /></a>The only time this movie would have been worth watching would have been in the first year humans existed, at a time when they <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0JleNu8UVM&feature=related">used clubs to get their first date </a>and fire was considered a source of visual stimulation. If this movie had been watched by our ancestors, I think they would have clubbed the director and used their fire to cast this film back to the lame depths it came from. I feel bad writing harsh reviews but I paid for this rental, and could have used the money on a <a href="http://s2.thisnext.com/media/230x230/Wendys-Jr-Bacon-Cheeseburger_B628493F.jpg">Junior Bacon Cheeseburger</a> from Wendy’s… a double disappointment.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-38873145142119392852009-12-09T14:40:00.000-08:002009-12-18T14:44:40.429-08:00Commercial Review: Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Booze Fighter</em></span><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mNvkLUW8C90&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mNvkLUW8C90&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Aww how cute... it's snowing. The feeling of Christmas is almost here. Mom is hugging her son in what you think is a love embrace, but you're so wrong. It's actually a hug goodbye! She's fattening him up so that he can be sacrificed to the trees in the front lawn. Gee mom, thanks for your creamy pile of shit. It woke up our fucking evergreen outside and it almost pulled me out the window. Luckily it took your casserole instead. Now for the rest of his life, this kid is gonna be tapped and in constant fear that every tree he sees wants the taste of children. And he'll grow up to be a deranged hermit constantly rambling about how much happier life was before cream of mushroom soup.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-16922183850172567992009-12-08T17:13:00.000-08:002009-12-08T19:06:10.931-08:00Save the Vampires<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Hi Five</em></span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/Sx8FNc3amJI/AAAAAAAAABc/MhzZxiONxJ4/s1600-h/Lost+boys+-+Twilight.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413051005767686290" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 204px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/Sx8FNc3amJI/AAAAAAAAABc/MhzZxiONxJ4/s400/Lost+boys+-+Twilight.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/Sx7-qgoUCiI/AAAAAAAAABU/7oC1Oeuqs-Q/s1600-h/Lost+boys+-+Twilight.jpg"></a>Do you know what that rotten smell is that has been nesting in your nostrils over the past few years? Well to quote <a href="http://timesonline.typepad.com/blockbuster_buzz/images/2008/08/13/corey.jpg">Edgar Frog</a>, it's "vampires, my friend, vampires." And we aren't talking about the type of vampires that you wish would bite you in the neck so you could start hanging out with their gang. I'm talking about the kind that you can find in <a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kswbygvm5D1qzwbc5.jpg">sUPeR-FaD Mazazine</a>, dumb bitch backpacks, or <a href="http://www.thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/77problems/images/IMG_6670.jpg">hipster lunchboxes</a>.<br /><br />Dear God someone save the sacredness of Vampirism.<br /><br />I remember a better time in my life when I could flip on the TNT or USA networks just in time for the beginning of the greatest vampire movie of all time, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lost_Boys">The Lost Boys</a>. Vampires in this movie, such as David (pictured above) - their mullet brandishing leader - weren't your friend and if you thought they were, they were most likely making you think you were eating worms or maggots. Nowadays, you have these vampires such as those that are in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twilight_(film_series)">Twilight</a> or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vampire_Diaries_(TV_series)">The Vampire Diaries</a> who go to high school, hang out with humans, and don't even eat people. It's bullshit.<br /><br />I saw a commercial the other day for the new stupid Twilight movie, and the "bad" vampire looked like fucking Whoopi Goldberg. First of all, don't ever cast a vampire that <a href="http://www-tc.pbs.org/wnet/wp-content/blogs.dir/4/files//2008/08/leibovitz_gallery_whoopie.jpg">looks like Whoopi Goldberg</a>. Second, if you do, decide you want a Vampire Whoopi in your movie, then cast the real Whoopi Goldberg. If I saw Sister Mary Clarence in her nun outfit chasing after me trying to suck my blood, THAT would bug me out.<br /><br />To settle this debate, I went ot the Vampire High School this morning and punched that dummy from Twilight in the face and took his diary. Coincidentally, while I was going to work, David rode by me <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSG_uYkExHY">on his motorcycle with his sweet trenchcoat on</a> and his diary flew to the ground so I grabbed that. Luckily, the sun was coming up and he had to race back to his Jim Morrison Hotel, so he didn't stop and eat my skull. Anyway, these were my findings-<br /><br />Diary entry from Edward, the stupid vampire:<br />"Today I had biology. We had to cut open a frog. It was so sad, I almost cried. Then the bread was stale on my chicken salad sandwich so I went into the bathroom and put more makeup on."<br /><br /><br />Diary entry from David from The Lost Boys:<br />"Today I smoked weed, ate chinese food, and killed motherfuckers."<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aDxce7K8G0#t=10s">I think we know which vampire is better</a>.<br /><br />Next time one of your friends or family members wants to watch Twilight or The Vampire Diaries, first consider why you are even talking to them and then do them a favor and stake them right in the brain with a copy of The Lost Boys. Then maybe they will know what a real vampire is supposed to be like: "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never Grow Old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-34850591327839953582009-11-23T18:39:00.001-08:002009-11-24T13:13:00.263-08:00Food Review: Nintendo Cereal System<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Booze Fighter</em></span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SwtJTJlEWkI/AAAAAAAAABE/l_jJpKdsEto/s1600/Nintendo+Cereal.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5407496370926148162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 229px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SwtJTJlEWkI/AAAAAAAAABE/l_jJpKdsEto/s320/Nintendo+Cereal.jpg" border="0" /></a>Twenty one years ago, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo_Cereal_System">Nintendo Cereal</a> smashed global brain waves from Burkina Faso, to the rivers of Singapore, and all the way to the <a href="http://emtoast.com/wp-content/uploads/old_lady6cb8f9enlarge2.jpg">corporate FAT CATS</a> in Washington. Children, the elderly, and LARPs from all over the world stood in awe of the aura of a dual combination of breakfast gold. Yes, that's right... at one point in our lifetime cereal companies knew what the people wanted and needed. Clean water and reusable fuel sources are nothing compared to being able to grab one box of cereal and having the choice of two. Or dare you mock the taste gods and open BOTH sides, mixing two worlds - Mario Bros. and Zelda - only to have the offspring be <a href="http://www.virginmedia.com/images/danny-devito-gal.jpg">sword wielding Italian plumber elves</a> resulting in a failed video game, "Guiseppi: Burning Bushes Because My Faucet is Leaking... The Story of a Bastard Child." So, adventurous ones, fuck Jason and the Argonauts, grab your spoons and your hunger, and get ready to embark on a legendary taste voyage known as Nintendo Cereal.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4805138699045697515.post-57224390526278234082009-11-19T15:47:00.000-08:002009-11-23T18:38:41.874-08:00Drink Review: Grape Crush<em><span style="font-size:78%;">posted by Bas Rutten</em></span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SwXaZg_UbjI/AAAAAAAAAA8/lMG5i8kNESs/s1600/Grape+Crush.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405967059615247922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 238px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LKBS0nz_NwQ/SwXaZg_UbjI/AAAAAAAAAA8/lMG5i8kNESs/s320/Grape+Crush.jpg" border="0" /></a>While walking through campus this year, I noticed my school had replaced their Coke products with its <a href="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Silver_Spoons/silver_spoons_dvd_season_one.jpg">illegitimate stepson</a>, Pepsi. I was not happy about this, but I did find one big positive out of the matter: the re-emergence of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush_(beverage)">Grape Crush</a>. Because I hadn't had it in years, I decided to fork over the 5 quarters for a bottle and my go-go-gadget <a href="http://blog.jkbutcher.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/exploding-head-1.jpg">brain exploded</a> with fizz. Grape flavor bursts out like a giant grape oozing Gusher exploding in my mouth, and I was immediately smashing my face and poking pens into my retinas for penance due to years of lost taste ignitions. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minute_Maid">Minute Maid</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welch%27s">Welch's</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nehi">Nehi</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grapette">Grapette </a>need to grow a pair to compete with this old, but newly found once again, masterpiece of grape soda.Old Forgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06483697157854240969noreply@blogger.com1